BEING A STAND UP COMEDIAN I AM UP AT TILL LATE ON SATURDAYS SO SUNDAYS I LIE IN, WELL ONE WOULD HOPE BUT THERE IS ALWAYS ESPECIALLY IN THE SUMMER SOMEONE OUT WITH A LAWN MOWER.
DON’T GET ME WRONG I LOVE A GARDEN, IN FACT I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ONE MYSELF, BUT I DOUBT I’LL FIT CHELSEA FLOWER SHOW IN MY HOUSE, AND 6AM IS A LITTLE STEEP BUT I DON’T LIKE TO MOAN SO I PUT UP WITH IT.
HAVING A BALCONY IS GREAT BUT NOT WHEN YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR FEET UP ON A SUN LOUNGER AS ONE DOESN’T FIT ON MINE.
I LIVE DOWN STEVENAGE ROAD IN HAMMERSMITH AND WHERE I TEND TO WRITE MY JOKES. WITH FULHAM PALACE ROAD NEAR IT HAS CHANGED SINCE I WAS A KID BUT NOW WITH THE TRENDY RESTAURANTS WEST LONDON IS THE BIZ.
BEING FUNNY IS HARD ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE RECOGNISES ME ASKING FOR ANOTHER JOKE, GOSH I FEEL SUCH PRESSURE BECAUSE THEY WANT ME TO BE FUNNY, BUT IN REALITY I GET TONGUE TIED WHICH IN TURN MAKES ME WANT TO HIDE.
I DO LOVE MY JOB MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH BUT NOT WHEN I AM AT THE GYM HALF NAKED AND PEOPLE NOT EVEN CARING THAT THEY ARE IN THE NUDE.
I WISH I COULD BE FUNNY ALL OF THE TIME, BUT THAT’S JUST IN POSSIBLE AS WRITING A SCRIPT TAKES SUCH TIME AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT I AM SWEATING JUMPING ON THE STAGE SHOUTING ABOUT BEING A WOMAN.
I LOVE HAVING BOOBS AND VAGINA BUT SOMETIMES WITH PMT I FEEL LIKE A DISASTER AND WHEN IT COMES TO A SUNDAY I JUST WANT TO BE IN MY PJAMAS, NOT BEING FUNNY NO LAWN MOWERS GOING JUST SOME PEACE AND A LITTLE BIT OF QUIET!
