Earning a living where I make people laugh, is such comfort as I sit here thinking whilst taking a bath, Yes the first time doing stand up I was nervous and was worried about getting heckled by the audience.
Being a newbie is always strange but when I hear the laughter I become insane.
As soon as I cross that stage I become the clown and it gives me great pleasure to not see a single frown.
Sometimes you have no idea of how it is going to go, and when you get heckled it can destroy your flow.
My tip for standup is always be prepared and remember wherever you go there is always that one dick head.
Anyhow I am glad to be gigging once again and be able to see people smiling as I take centre stage, and never should I wear anything beige
Once I did this I spilt my wine as I was about to take my queue to get up on that stage and all they could see is a woman with a wine stain on her jacket, and seeing this made me panic
So I included it as part of my act and out of nowhere I hear an enormous clap,
out of the blue I see a seal and then I realise this isn’t real
It came towards me stinking of fish and then I see someone holding a dish
It was a guy named kipper and boy did he stink and started chatting me up and giving me a wink
I move away and the seal pushes me in a pool fall of water and I hear a load of laughter
Was this part of the act?
I don’t know where the seal and the guy came from, but in that minute I wake up sweating in my bedroom
Thank god it was only a dream and has made me weary in wearing beige, on stage ever again!